What My Husband Misses

Over the months, I’ve been accumulating a list of things Rob has mentioned that he misses and have chosen to share it with you today. For fun.

The cafeteria sounds like it tasted good the first few months, but now that he’s been there a while…

Rob misses:

• pork cooked by people allowed to eat pork
• real mashed potatoes
• blanched vegetables
• steaks cooked rare
• eggs cooked easy
• crispy bacon
• sausage that doesn’t float in grease
• beer
• pizza
• peanut butter and jelly that’s not made by Heinz
• sandwich bread that’s not white
• shrimp that’s not as hard as a rock
• fish that’s baked, not slathered
• turkey products that actually look tasty
• real dessert (pies, cakes, cookies, brownies) that are not overly processed and will survive as long as a twinkie.
• overall brilliant, rather than subdued flavors
• metal utensils
• eating off real dishes
• Saturday mornings
• good coffee
• drinking from a glass

Rob misses:

walking somewhere he doesn’t have to salute at least 14 people between his room and the chow hall (he swears his left arm is getting stronger carrying all his stuff so the right can be free to salute every few seconds).

things that are soft

walking into a bathroom that doesn’t smell like poo.

showering without shoes

showering without fear – fear that the water temperature will suddenly change, fear that the shower head will explode, or fear that a hand will reach into your shower to turn off the water because you’ve gone over your 5-minute “combat shower” limit (not Rob, but definitely happened).

rational perspective with the uniform – because seriously? will the taliban win if your shirt is untucked? your socks too tall? or your reflect-y belt not properly adorned? I don’t think so.

And of course, Rob misses: ME!

Stages of Deployment

I should have guessed earlier, but there’s apparently seven emotional stages a spouse goes through with a deployment. Yeah. They’ve done studies.

Stage One: Anticipation of Departure

Stage Two: Detachment and Withdrawal

Stage Three: Emotional Disorganization

Stage Four: Recovery and Stabilization

Stage Five: Anticipation of Return

Stage Six: Return Adjustment and Renegotiation

Stage Seven: Reintegration and Stabilization

Interesting, huh? And while the psychiatrists may disagree, I haven’t found my deployment emotions to follow the “typical” stages… Mine went a little more like this:

Stage One: What’s an MC-12?

Stage Two: A couple all-nighters finishing the upstairs bathroom before Rob and I left for Atlanta and his training, arriving on Christmas Day. Not much time for detachment or withdrawal, just lots and lots of tile cutting.

Stage Three: Recovery and Stabilization. I know it’s supposed to be stage four in the pattern, but I was pretty fine with the whole thing.

Stage Four: Emotional Disorganization. I’m not entirely sure what this stage is meant to encompass, but I found that as the squadron we’re still technically a part of began to deploy, my emotions about the whole thing came a lot closer to the surface. I described it to Rob like this:

Me: You know how I am capable of compartmentalization? Rob: Yes. Me: Well, I’m discovering the walls of my compartments can be a little thin – you know, maybe like Japanese rice paper walls? Rob: OH YEA! Me: Oh. You didn’t have to agree SO heartily… cute.

And then, I guess I did Stage Four again with Recovery and Stabilization. I LOVE all my new friends who are newly singled and very often ready to hang out, go out, or just visit!

Then, I discovered I missed testosterone a little. And guys are WAY funnier than girls. No offense. It’s just girls are not that hilarious. I miss laughing from the gut.

Now, I’m on to Stage Five: Anticipation of Return. I can totally see the light at the end of the tunnel. Not that it’s been a dark or horrific time, I’m just excited like a birthday, or a wedding, or a big graduation trip. It’s got magnitude. But, I’ve noticed I’m a little more unstable than I’ve been in any of the previous stages. I don’t say this to gain pity or to say in some sort of subtle way, “Help me.” It’s not that. It’s simply observing, almost in a scientific way – hmm, that’s interesting, I didn’t expect that.

Some of my more random unstable moments come while driving. Perhaps I’m simply not used to driving this much without Rob. I miss him in the seat next to me. I love it when he drives and I get to ride. I haven’t been in the passenger seat of my car for 9 months.

Another moment when my paper-thin compartment walls were compromised was when my very good friend had a baby and I teared up as she was describing how hard it was for her husband to watch the labor because he felt so helpless. I guess I empathize. Is that it?

I can nail this one down a lot easier: You know the pie that I love. The pie that merited its own ode and entry in the blog. The pie that gives me comfort each week throughout this deployment. Well, I’ve been without pie now for over two weeks. She wasn’t there last week and I missed her this week. I learned this because I called the store in Pierre and she said there was a rush this morning and they ran out early. I’ve been tearing up all day when I think about how I don’t have pie.

I think this one’s a little more obvious – pie = comfort. duh. Then, the very sweet yet sometimes a little “I told you so” Holy Spirit reminded me that my comfort should lie in God. Me, ever a little bit petulant, said I still would like some pie, but thanks for the reminder. If I have to live without pie for two weeks to be reminded that the Holy Spirit is my comforter, that’s okay. … But I have ordered three pies for next week.

Anyway, I’m looking forward to the next two stages of deployment emotions – the ones that occur when he comes back!! YAY!!!! Really, there’s not enough explanation points to convey the excitement (and apparently a little bit of instability… ) that comes with this stage.

A Day in the Life

 

My days without Rob are coming to a rapid end, and now that I’m more than halfway, my thoughts have gone from “6 whole months will take a while,” to “I only have two more months left to prepare for Rob coming home!”

I have attacked my workouts with renewed vigor, shooting for the hottest bod that can be attained in the remaining time.  I’m actually enjoying the crossfit class on base as well as yoga in my schedule.

The garden is much more high maintenance now as things are ripening and weeds are sprouting.

My project list is getting smaller (but still formidable) – although the basement is STILL my Everest and I would love to go through more boxes down there and unpack books and find a place for the more “random” items. And my awesome stackable storage boxes still need doors to hide their contents and not make the basement look cluttered and busy.

The days are also broken up with walks for Gus and any friends staying with us, trips to the dog park, calls to contractors for home repairs from the recent hail storm (see pic below for proof of egg-sized hail in late June), a bit of retail therapy always makes me happy (and now I have a good excuse with deployment), and throw in a couple weekly evening get-togethers among the spouses and you’ve got yourself a fairly busy lady.

Some more pics

Instead of tiling the step, I tore off the nasty vinyl tiles and simply spread some grout over it.

Before

After

Tomatoes

Peppers

Eggplants

And figs, oh my!

I’m so happy the little fig tree made it! I almost thought he was a goner at the end of the winter, but look how well he’s pulled through! Go figgy!

Three Seasons Room

Before

After

I LOVE IT!

This was: wall panels, insulation, ceiling planks, granite tiles, grout (lots and lots of grout), paint, trim, threshold, doorstop, and caulk. Very gratifying.

I don’t know if anyone else who’s remodeled a house has this problem, but I really don’t like filling the room once it’s done! This happened with the bedrooms upstairs. As our clothes went in the closet and the dresser, bed, etc filled the space, I was saddened to see all my hard work covered up with furniture. That is why I have left the second bedroom upstairs mostly empty (except for stuff in the closet and a yoga mat on the floor) – I adore looking at the shiny, clean, still freshly painted, uncluttered purity of the redone room.

And this is also why I predict that the patio furniture I was thinking of getting for this room might end up waiting until next year – I love looking at the empty, open room! So clean, so pretty… anyone else experience this phenomenon?

Summer Food

I LOVE cooking in the summer! I love all the… well, all the FRESH! Fresh greens, tomatoes, herbs, peppers, everything feels so clean and light on my palate. I love FRESH!

Here’s a couple fun items recently cooked that I thought were stellar enough to share with you.

A group of squadron ladies got together every week to watch the Bachelorette. Not normally my cup of tea, but the socializing was wonderful and the food was delicious! The B-1 squadrons are full of amazing cooks! One of the latest themes was “tropical” and since I wanted to use my greens from the garden, this just kind of morphed and it’s DELICIOUS!

I call it Almond Joy Salad.

Fresh greens, toasted coconut, toasted sliced almonds. The dressing is the basic olive oil and balsamic, but sub coconut oil for half the olive oil; and add a little cocoa and honey until it tastes good (maybe 2-3 tablespoons of each). I’m sorry I can’t give more specific directions on the dressing, but that’s how it happened. You want to have the ratio of coconut (from the dressing as well), almonds, and chocolate be about the ratio of an almond joy candy bar. Trust me, it’s yummy.

Smitten Kitchen is absolutely my favorite cooking website! Instead of food network when I want to find something to cook, now I navigate right to Smitten Kitchen and search her sight. I made these for a girls night recently and VERY tasty – a little pleasantly odd mix of flavors that result in goodness. I love these as an appetizer with a glass of wine on the patio. Perfect.

Flatbreads with Honey, Thyme, and Sea Salt

And this next one turned out to be a wonderful way to use venison with a fresh summery twist.

Skirt Steak with Bloody Mary Salad

The salad I would totally bring to a pot luck and it would be a big hit. Made this one for a girls night and the ladies took home tupperware.

And finally, because no meals are complete without dessert! This rice pudding (or rather arroz con leche) was a HUGE hit last night at Ladies Bible study!

Arroz Con Leche

The Pie Lady

The Rapid City Farmers’ Market is only NOW beginning to pick up with the actual produce offerings. It’s AUGUST! I can’t believe the crazy short growing season! But I digress…

One thing the market excels at during all the months that it’s open is the baked and canned goods. Jams, jellies, salsas, breads, rolls, and pies. One booth in particular… the Pie Lady. Oh, I can’t even write about the pies without swooning. They give out free samples of the particular pie that day and my first sample was mixed berry (blackberries, raspberries, strawberries, and blueberries). It kind of went like this: “Oh, that’s nice – free samples. Thanks so much.” Tasting that one bite, all the latent happiness inside me melted and gloriously filled up my insides while my brain lost all other consciousness and focus, time stopped, and there was only pie. Delicious, wonderful, pie. I was hooked.

Since then, whenever the Pie Lady has been at the market, I have purchased a, to some overly priced, pie, knowing that it’s totally worth it and the most amazing treasure of a treat I have ever tasted and would therefore probably pay twice that and more for its delicious goodness.

I have enjoyed mixed berry (often), strawberry rhubarb, and fruits of the forest (rhubarb, apple, strawberry, and raspberry) and they have all been the best pie in the world.

Some caveats: I love filling. I love it. I love the fruits, the sugar, and the blending of the two that miraculously results in exquisite pie filling. And even though I’m not a crust girl, this crust blows my mind. I eat it all and scrape the bowl for crumbs. It’s buttery, flaky, firm, and soft all at the same time and accentuates the filling with poise and style. Perfect synergy.

Today, I bought my pie and headed home to a breakfast of scrambled eggs and a slice of pie. Awesome. And even though I just bought it this morning, it’s sadly already over half gone. …although I did give a couple slices to a sick friend. I know. I’m a saint.

So, if you’re ever driving through Pierre, South Dakota (as that’s where their little pie restaurant is located and don’t think I haven’t considered driving almost 3 hours to Pierre just for pie, because I absolutely have) you simply must stop and have a slice at Vivian Junction Restaurant. You won’t regret it.

When Spouse is Deployed, Things Break

There’s an old military spouse adage that says “when he’s away, things will break”… okay, I don’t know if there’s an official adage and if there were, I’d like to think it has a much better ring to it that what I just wrote… ANYway…

Happily, I haven’t had anything major like a basement flood (3 people I know) or windows broken from the recent egg-sized hail storm (3 more people I know).

Mine started with a flat tire.

Thanks to my dear father for teaching me how to change a flat when I first started driving (he also always has me keep jumper cables in the car – used them WAY more than once), I was back on the road in a respectable 10 minutes. The next day, I had errands to run and places to be but I heard the voice of my dear father saying, “the spare tire is ONLY to drive you from your flat to the tire place!” So I went to the tire place and an infuriating FOUR AND A HALF HOURS later, I had four new tires.

Very soon after that, the latch on my dishwasher broke. I learned this when I needed to get to the clean kitchen aid mixing bowl for about three days, and in slight desperation, I pulled out one of my top ten favorite tools… the prybar! And miraculously, it opened without harming anything! Prybar moves up the list of favorite tools!!

Perhaps I’ll find a good deal on a new dishwasher for the kitchen remodel, but for now, this is how I begin my dishwasher-emptying… very carefully.

So, if you come over and notice the prybar on the kitchen counter next to the paper towels, just politely look away. Thank you.

And while I simply love my new sunroom floor, the grouting was no small job! It’s taken its toll on my body – in particular, my poor nails. They kind of remind me of a zombie apocalypse movie…  ARRGHHH!

So, at the suggestion of a friend, I sought out some dark nail polish and have found a very nice brown. However, it didn’t stand up to the furniture-building I did the day after I put it on, but at least I don’t look like I’ve been cast in Shawn of the Dead.

Speaking of furniture building… here’s the latest in my project list. I LOVE IT! It will go behind the sofa and will function as a desk for the laptop, a buffet table, or just a table for behind-the-sofa decorations. The plans are here at AnaWhite.com.

In progress